I am attempting to sew more of my own clothes. This is not going well as I have yet to make it to the fabric store successfully. Its very far away and has a no bathroom policy.

Instead I have been cannibalizing old clothes and sheets. Here is a ‘house-dress’ I made from a random fitted sheet I found down stairs. I was so happy with how it turned out- until I tried to put it on. Though the pattern claimed size 18, the bust was not accommodating my girls. So frustrating. No more material to put in a panel. A waste.


But Pinterest delivered the answer on golden wings: a custom dress form! No more guessing! Shit would fit like a glove.

So, in comes a fellow seamstress, two t-shirts and four rolls of duct tape. Out comes Bertha:


I must admit that when I first saw her, I almost cried. She seemed enormous to me. Was my body really that big? I was ashamed and tucked her away in my sewing room. I haven’t even tried to use her yet. I don’t want to face the truth- that this is who I am now.

I have gained 60lbs since starting meds. I can’t say it’s all their fault. Yes, the Clozapine makes me hungry ALL THE TIME but since I learned to eat on a schedule I have curtailed the spiralling weight gain and hit a plateau. I’m hoping now that I am getting back into biking some weight will come off.

But until then I need to love the body I’m in. Respect all it does for me. Nourish it properly and move it daily. After all, it’s the only one I’ve got.

One thought on “Bertha

  1. Always game for a mid week, mid day (ie: quieter) fabric store trip if having a driver/someone else along would help.
    PS: I love Bertha – she’s brilliant and beautiful.


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