Hello and welcome to the jungle.
I know I’m supposed to write wordy and profound things but today I just want to update you on the happenings in my life.
- Gluten-free… Utter torture. I have been trying a lot of products and most of them are absolute garbage. I have been introduced to 1-1 flour which works well for cakes and cookies. You can just use your normal recipes which makes things easier. But everything turns our a little ‘gummier’ that’s the only way I can describe it. Gluten free pasta is good if you eat really fast. If it sits in the sauce or (heaven forbid) you reheat it the next day it literally begins to disintegrate. Wraps don’t really wrap- they fold and then shatter. I have gotten to the point where I’m just eating more rice and potatoes instead of fighting with the crap bread available. Unfortunately, I feel SO much better so I’m sticking with it.
- Adventures in Anxiety… I went to a bookstore! All by myself. I have also been going to my bloodwork for several months now, alone and with relative ease. I am finding if I PLAN a trip I begin building it up in my mind and freaking out. BUT if I just realize I feel good and scoot out it’s usually a success! I have now been on CBD for several months and I really think it has been helping. I just feel a general sense of calming. Now I can identify when I am anxiety spiralling and sometimes stop it.
- Christmas Crafting… My cheap-ass circular needles have broken. Mid-project. It was devastating but I managed to rescue all the stitches with a set of double-points so I didn’t lose all my work. I did a little online research and found that interchangeable needles exist! You get a little kit of different sized needle tips and several different lengths of cable- and then you put together what ever set up you need! It’s fucking brilliant. And hella expensive. But I ordered them as an early Christmas present from my long-suffering husband. 2-4 days shipping. I am literally on the edge of my seat.
- Some Other News… I have been called with the date of my breast reduction surgery! December 31st. I will literally be getting new boobs for the new year! Isn’t that amazing? I am so excited. I am working hard to lose a touch more weight before the surgery because that improves outcomes.
- Bipolar and Other Demons… I am starting to get a bit frustrated. My mood symptoms feel okay, nothing dramatic is happening anyway, but my psychosis symptoms are still plaguing me. I have good lucid times (like now) and I have others where I stare into space until my husband intervenes. I also have the continual feeling of being watched and tracked. And of course Bill is keeping me company. He likes to hide and just poke his head out scaring the crap out of me. When I’m good these things all seem silly, but when things are bad they’re really bad.
So that’s what’s up. Not much, but mostly good so that’s an improvement. I am very excited that December 1st is approaching, meaning I can spread Christmas all over the house!