Knock on wood but- things are improving.
I am cheating a little by starting a new medication that is breastfeeding safe for the voices/music/apparitions. Not being constantly distracted by them is helping IMMENSELY. I can also sleep properly at night without the noise and a slower brain. It’s a low dose that shouldn’t be too hard to get back off of when the time is right.
Mood-wise I guess it was just the pregnancy hormones because the clouds have certainly cleared. I am definitely exhausted and worn down by the time I crawl into bed every night but the crying jaggs have passed. Yay motherhood!
We found help with the nights that hubby cannot cover due to work which eases the stress significantly. I’m also starting to nurse and the amount of washing and sterilizing of bottles has greatly diminished (although the laundry has not!). Meal planning simple dinners that create leftovers is helping keep us less hangry.
I am still nervous to take G out with everything going on and his erratic schedule of inconsolable crying, but I am eagerly looking forward to a return to somewhat normal soon. I think his first big outing will be the library (he’s been to the lake quickly, but he slept through it!). I’d like to instil a healthy love of books early on if possible.
There are still many moments where I ask myself “what have I done?” but I am really looking forward to so many things! I can’t wait until he is more interactive and we can play and sing and dance. For now though, baby snuggles are pretty awesome.