I was talking to a friend about what my life is like. She said “I think it’s not Bipolar to have hallucination, delusions and paranoia ALL the time. Isn’t that supposed to be just during an episode? Are you sure you’re not schizoaffective?”
I laughed and said no, I’m pretty sure my doctor would have figured that out. We moved on to other topics.
Talking to my psychiatrist by phone on Monday I mentioned this to her and her response was “Oh yes of course you are.”
She then continued that ‘Bipolar 1 with psychosis’ and ‘schizoaffective’ were essentially the same diagnosis and I could use whatever term I preferred.
So, being me, I did some research. It led me to this wonderful YouTube channel called “Living well with schizophrenia”. The creator is schizoaffective and she is absolutely lovely. A lot of the videos weren’t helpful (I already know what a psychiatric hospital is like unfortunately) but some of them basically explained my life. I also loved that her partner makes some of the videos and is so loving and supportive. I love seeing healthy relationships like that.
So I guess it’s not really news per se, but it is causing a wee bit of an identity crisis. Not sure what term I will use. I’m not keen on changing but I also think it might help others understand what my mind is like.